The casting agent in my head

I've always imagined that my body works a bit like a very large corporation. The extremeties are the blue collar workers and the brain, of course, is the corporate office. The thing about my body business is that they are multi-facitied. They take on a great number of jobs but don't really specialize in anything. I guess that could be argued, but for the most part they don't.

Occassionaly the body corporation dabbles in film. Also known as dreams. Bet you didn't know that there is a casting agent dwelling inside my head, but there is. And she doesn't even require auditions. She just grabs people at random to play roles in her productions. Mostly the genre of films is Avante Garde, an occassional comedy, romance or horror film gets in the mix occassionallly too but they mostly stick with avante garde. But Congratulations Lauren, last night you were a star.

The body's latest film production was another avante garde flick about accomodating crazy ladies, and riding buses.The only parts I remember from it were that Lauren and Babybear got on a bus that I was riding on and we were surprised to see each other but happy none the less. Then the scene changed to my parents living room and I was getting ready to go out with another friend (one form Wisconsin) when this lady pulls up in a huge brown El Comino with some rather scary large hillbilly types and asks me if I'm ready to go. She was Native American of some sort (I gathered this info from the dream catcher dangling from the rear-view mirror) and quite obviously not in her right mind, perhaps a medicine woman of some sort. She looked a bit like a tan Morticia Adams. She told me we were going to go find some ghosts. I asked if my Wisconsin friend could come with me. She said no. I asked if Lauren (who had apparently followed me home from the bus) could come and the old woman begrudgingly said yes. The last thought before the dream ended was "I hope this doesn't take long, I have so much to do today, I hate when she shows up like this, but you gotta accomodate her or it will hurt her feelings" then a very smiling Lauren (like she had been fresh plucked out of a picture) got into the El Comino , which was again much like a bus and I woke up.

I didn't say the body makes good movies.. it just makes strange ones. They also make "enactment films" like you'd see on Unsolved Mysteries or America's Most Wanted. Playing out scenes of something I've read or heard about. Like things I read in your blogs. Since I don't know some of you in real life, you and your family members get cast by the casting agent in my head. Sometimes I imagine the little voice in my head whispering "The parts of P2 and Cath are being played by Guy Hannah use to date and girl who works in Classified." And since I watch these little enactments in my head, I'm always completely shocked when I see a real picture and they look nothing like the "actors" my casting agent put in their place. P2 and Cath being case in point :). Now that I've seen pictures to be able to work on them a coloring book, the casting agent is recasting their roles as well as Cate's role. I can hear it whisper as I read Nanabanana's blog "The parts of P2 and Cath will now be played by Stan (a client I work for who looks a bit like the real P2) and girl from the Addys (who looks quite a bit like Cath)". Now why the casting agent in my head doesn't cast P2 or Cath into their own roles now that I know what they look like, I guess is because I don't know their mannerisms because I've never seen them in real life and there fore in moving images (like the ones that play in my head when I read) they have to be played by people I've actually me.

It's an interesting business this body of mine.

Someone please save me from renovation pergatory.

We are on day 8 without our own shower. The bathroom remodel was suppose to take 4 days. Why is it that no one tells you their stories of "if they say this long, it will probably take twice that long" until after you are in the middle of things yourself and are stressing over how long it is taking?
I found three grey hairs this morning. This is not uncommon to me, since my hair is somewhat dark and dark hair tends to grey early but for the most part all the grey I've found up to this point has been on the underside of my hair. But these three are on the top of my head. Most disconcerting.
Sinks are not fun to bathe in. I'm so happy we decided to do this renovation while we are still kidless. The poor dog is a nervous wreck. She gets sick almost every night.. but is not acting sick so we are petty sure it is just her nerves because things are all out of kilter. Dogs, especially huskies, - much like children, tend to thrive on schedules and repetition. The vet told us in the beginning. She is a mix of two nervous breeds. They like their order and control. Gee, who does that sound like. No wonder I feel like the dog understands me so well.

Thank you Farmwife - we watched the new James Bond movie last night. And for at least the first half of it, all I could see was Clinton Kelly from What Not To Wear
it took me a while, but I got over it and was able to finally picture him as the debonair spy. Now I wonder what will happen the next time I see WNTW.

Yes, yes. I've been gone a while again. But I have an excuse. It has been Busy with a capital B. But I'm happy today because I am not at work. Nope, I am waiting on bathroom people .... ahem ... I mean remodelers. We are redoing the bathroom. We are finally going to have an outlet in the bathroom. No more blow-drying in the hall. I am excited. And this ladies and gents (if there happen to be any reading - which I doubt on this blog) is part of my vacation. I am taking today and Thursday. DH will be here with them tomorrow and Wednesday. I'm trying to get a lot done but really I've spent a good portion of the morning catching up with everyone else that I read on here. I'm hoping to get a couple of more illustrations finished, maybe some laundry and a few more things. He's been here once and he is due back around 1(had to go to Home depot for more supples - wondering how much more that is going to cost us). I'll post before and after pics at Farmwife's request at the end of the week.

Until then, just know that I'm alive and that there haven't been any more Possum sitings since the last post.

Oh! I know something I was going to ask you all. What are your favorite novelty sayings? (i.e. "Life is just a bowl of cherries", "live, laugh, love", "What if the hokey Pokey really is what it's all about", that kind of thing) Or if you could hang a sign outside your residence what would it be?

Congratulations you have become my demographic.

Zann vs. The Opossum

Just to let you know. Possums must die. I've decided that is their sole purpose in life is just to breed and then die to be carrion. Because I certainly can't think of any useful qualities they maintain in life other than to provoke carnivorous and sometimes less than brilliant animals. Last week a possum (I hate spelling it the proper way with an "o" so I'm using my own spelling) trapsed through the field behind our house teasing our dog in her fence. Then the stupid possum climbs the tree in the corner of the yard. Our dog, whose primal instincts for rodents is strong starts jumping at it and discovers that she can get not only around the tree but also up the tree and over the fence. Thanks to this new found knowledge we have to watch her like a hawk at night when we let her out now. If we hear barking we check to make sure she isn't heading to that corner of the fence. Well tonight we got a little lax on that and I thought my fears had proven true. I have no babies. This dog is my only baby. So having her run away is not one of my favorite thoughts. It scares me. Sure she has a collar, and tags and even a microchip, but there are dangers in the world that she doesn't know about and that I don't want her to learn the hard way about. So when she didn't come when I called I got a little nervous. When she didn't come when J (the lead dog in our house) called. I got scared. Threw my shoes on and grabbed my flashlight. She wasn't on either side of the house, but J spotted her in the corner with the tree. She hadn't climbed the fence. In stead she had gotten herself stuck behind the tree. I had to climb through the brambles and honeysuckle vines into the tangles to free her. All this in the dark. I am still picking twigs out of my hair.

I'm pretty sure I heard a possum laugh as J and myself escorted our ashamed dog back into the house. Next warm day that we have, I'm breaking out the trimmer and taking out that overgrowth of honeysuckle and then I'm bringing out the chicken wire and blocking that area of the fence from certain curious hounds.

But I have to say. I'm really glad to have her back in the house. I don't know how I'd go to sleep without getting tucked in by the dog.

And she does tuck J and I in. She sits on the bed with us until she thinks we are asleep then moves down to the floor. It's sweet.

You all knew I couldn't resist a MEME, didn't you ;)

1) Is your blog identity a pseudonym or part of your real name?
It's part of my real name, kind of a family nickname. Well that is if you remove the "li" from the end of it. Those were the first two letters of my maiden name. I always know who really knows me or who just knows me from some formal meeting by what they call me.

2) How many states have you lived in? Countries?
I have only lived in this state I am in now, unless you are counting states of mind, and then there have been numerous states that I have lived in. I have visited Mexico once on a Summer Mission trip but only for two weeks, and I crossed into Canada once while doing a co-op business trip in Michigan but I was there a total of about 3 hours so I don't think that counts. All I remember is how scary the bus ride back and fourth was.

3) How long have you been blogging?
What exactly constitutes blogging? I've been conversing back and forth, sharing ideas and thought with people over the internet since 2001 when I was posting on the WeddingChannel.com's message boards and had my own little "wedding journal" there. It was a wonderful place to talk wedding stuff with other people who were totally engrossed in planning without driving everyone else who knows me in real life nuts and getting labeled a "bridezilla". Friendships were forged there and several of us from those boards (after some difficulty with stolen information, trolls and what not) moved on to Livejournal (that other place in my sidebar) around 2004 because of the ability to guard your more intimate information. Farmwife started blogging here in 2005 or 06 and convinced me to join, and then later Lauren came along, and then Art and Did (all who I knew in person) and then through them I've met you other great people. And I've been here sporadically ever since, keeping LJ as my main place to ponder.

4) If the Internet completely disappeared, would you have to go through a blogger recovery program such as blogoholics anonymous (BA)?
Absolutely. Not only that but I'd have to go to emailanon, and websiteanon, and comicsanon. Because a big portion of my time is spent working through, communicating with or learning from the internet.

5) When you aren't blogging, what are some of your hobbies?
drawing obviously. I enjoy a good book or movie now and again. And spending time with husband, dog, friends and family. I still enjoy attending live theater, but no longer participate in performing though it is on my list to try out for something within the next 3 years. I also always have about a bazillion little projects that I'm working on, but believe it or not most of them usually get finished.

(6) How many languages do you speak?
Well the only nationally recognized language that I speak is English, but I also speak Southern, Sashaneeze see two posts down, and Pig Latin

7) Favorite vacation spot?
I've only been once, but it was so beautiful that I would love to go back to Charleston, SC. But I suppose my favorite is just going home to visit. Or to Pigeon Forge for Christmas. It's always a bit like a mini vacation to me. But I'd also like to go back to Islands of Adventure in Orlando someday, and there are tons of other places I'd like to visit. Farmwife, I hope to surprise DH with a getaway to Fall Creek Falls sometime this year, I haven't been since I was 7.

8) What is your life verse, quote, or theme?
The verse is one of my mother's favorites as well that she has passed on to me. The women in our family rely on this verse because we are natural worriers. Joshua 1:9 "Be bold and courageous, banish all fear and doubt, For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." But currently my favorite quote that I have been striving to live toward and pray most every morning (I hung it on my fridge) because it spoke what my heart could form words to say is from John Baillie:

Speak in my words today, think in my thoughts, and work in all my deeds. And seeing that it is Your gracious will to make use of even such weak human instruments in the fulfillment of Your mighty purpose for the world, let my life today be the channel through which some little portion of Your divine love and mercy may reach the lives that are nearest to my own."

9) What is the hardest job you have ever had?
None of the jobs I've had have been extremely difficult. Some have been extremely annoying and miserable, but not difficult. But there have been difficult assignments within those jobs, and I'd say for me those would be the ones involving working with groups.

10) What is the most rewarding role you have had in life?
Aunt, god-mother and Wife are all tied for the #1 spot at the moment.

Since the last time I blogged here....

A lot has been going on around here that has kind of kept me from blogging here. But here is a detail-less recap of what's been happening around here. I sometimes feel guilty for not blogging here much but it isn't because I don't love you girls, it's just that I already let everything out somewhere else and I don't like repeating myself. So once again I will plug That Other Place and I promise that if you comment to me fairly often here, then I will "friend" you over there. But anyway... here's you a quick rundown.

Since the last time I blogged here:

- I have finished a logo, two brochures, 4 illustrations and picked up a new freelance gig that may or may not work out. But could be very exciting if it does. Nana, do you still want me to do your daughter's coloring book? It may sound like I don't have time, but I do.

- forgot my parents were coming to visit until two days before they arrived.

- chased the dog through a field in my work clothes after another opossum incident and her discovery of a tree in the corner of our lot. Why a opossum was out in the morning I do not understand.. but those darn things just taunt dogs.

- received the emails you have sent but have not had a chance to properly think out my answers and respond.

- signed up for a basket weaving class

- started some home renovation projects.

- discovered that we have a termite colony in the back of our lot and therefore need to have the house sprayed/protected.

- discovered how expensive that can be.

- went to an awards ceremony where we got to dress up like gangsters and my hubby won an award and I won a door prize.

- had puppies over to play with Sasha- which was very cute and entertaining because all but one was scared of her, and she was completely gentle and sweet with them. She makes a good puppy-sitter.

- We had our first real accumulative snow of the season.

- Have made plans to visit my family for a mini-reunion in two weeks, and plans to go to two showers at the end of the month (one baby, and one wedding).

- Have been reading Curly Girl and have learned a lot about my hair Art after I finish it, I will happily pass it along to you if you'd like.

- Have watched several movies, DH is on a movie binge, including The Prestige very good twisty kind of movie, Lady in the Water don't bother it was awful, Barnyard Very cute, but kind of weird since there is a male cow in it, and I kept wanting to call the mouse Sheen. Cars super cute and well done. I'm finding that I really like Owen Wilson.

I can't think of anything else right now. I need to go get dinner ready for guests coming over tonight, and see if I can't memorize my story for tomorrow's children's church- oooh! Remind me to tell you all about that sometime.

A message from the demander

Reading Wandering Heart's blog today reminded me why I'm not allowed to bake expanding breads. Not long ago (back around my birthday) my mother-in-law gave me a bag of starter and a recipe for Amish bread. It seemed easy enough from the instructions and it was the gift that keeps on giving so I thought I'd give it a shot. Problem was we were going out of town that weekend and the bread batter needed to be burped and fed each day. So I packed it up and brought it with us. Of course the night before we left was the very night that the bread batter needed to be fed and separated making 4 new bags of batter. So I did that and baked one batch. I'm not sure how I managed it. I followed all the instructions and I certainly wasn't trying to be messy but I just kept finding batter and flour in various places. When I went to take DH a slice of bread after it had cooled from the oven. He was amused by pointing out the various places on my person that I had gotten batter and flour. I had it on my rear (goodness knows how, it's not like we have a place to sit in our kitchen), I had it in my hair, I had hand prints on my shirt and a slotch on my glasses. I was a mess. The kitchen was a mess. But hey, at least the bread was good. But it made waaaay too much for just two people. So when we went out of town the next day I took the bread and the batter with me and left it all with my mother, with the instructions and comforting words of "it will not hurt my feelings if you throw this away after I leave". I think she probably made one batch too and got rid of the other bags. But who knows. The Amish bread may be making its way through my hometown as we speak and then on to bigger and better places. It just keeps growing and growing....

But it is just too messy for Mrs. Messy herself.
(that would be me if you are wondering).

I've always identified with this book:
Billy Brown Makes Something Grand

The bread incident was no exception.

Artist/writers/ whatevers block

I just can't pull it together. This use to come easy, but I'm worn out. I can't think, my brain is tired. I'm at the spot that I wanted to be in and now my ideas seem to be putzing out. Or at least tonight they are. I have one of my very few and far between opportunities to do creative work at work and I can't think of a thing. My mind is an almost blank. It isn't totally blank. I have ideas but I just can't seem to get them to work out in a cohesive fashion. I miss school! I never thought I'd say it but I do. I miss the sitting around drinking soda, eating donuts and having brainstorming sessions in a creative inducing environment with other creative minded people. I miss feeding off of everyone elses ideas until we each had gleaned something that we could present. Some design firms do that very thing, but it seems to be against the religion of newspapers. I've tried it with DH but we think too differently and brainstorming sessions seem to work better the more people that you have. The more backgrounds, the more useless knowledge and ideas that are thrown, in the better they work.

My brain has now switched off of the assignment at hand (or rather assignments as I've picked up another freelance gig which I also seem to be brain-dead on) and I'm now trying to figure out how I could start a website for people who want to brainstorm. How would it work? See the problem with bringing people together online would be that they are all working on different projects and want to brainstorm about different stuff and then there is the possibly of competitors running into each other. But there has got to be a way to provide this service to people who need it but don't get it where they work. Hmm... any ideas on that guys?

Anyone know of any great moments in history involving newspapers working together with the people? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Okay I think I'm going to do something mindless for while and maybe something will come to me. In the meantime, I would love to find a way to show my avatar beating her head against a wall but I can't seem to figure out a way to do that either. But that would best express what I'm feeling at the moment. At least I feel a bit better now that I've expressed the emotion in words.

Today's Question to Ponder:
Why does orange juice always make me feel thirstier than I was before I drank it?
I'm guessing it has something to do with the acidity.. but seriously that's annoying.

Random bits

• My good friend had her baby yesterday :D It's a boy and I'm estatic for her. Happy Valentine's day to A & S and their son whom I will from now one refer to as RC-Cupid :)

• I have discovered much to my non-suprise that I am not girly

• I don't understand why people "plant" fake flowers in their yards or in planters. Inside I kind of understand... but artificial flowers outside? I realize they are less trouble but really.. why not just not just plant the real thing or get a low-maintenance plant to go in its place. There are a lot of really pretty low maintenance plants out there. Surely they don't think the plastic sticking out of the ground looks real? Especially in the middle of winter?

• Been having dizzy spells lately. Went to my regular check up yesterday and mentioned them to the doc. He checked me out thoroughly and found out that I have a sinus infection. Said there is lots of fluid on my ears, which is probably the cause of it. I've never had a sinus infection where I wasn't stuffed up before. This is my first SI where I can actually breathe normally, but now I'll have to start using nose spray to clear out the passages. Lovely.

• I want to learn to sew again. I've forgotten how. I need instruction. My mother taught me when I was a kid but I lost interest and have now lost the knowledge. It is not like riding a bike apparently. Unfortunately I'm having trouble finding somewhere or someone to give lessons that don't take place for hours at a time during the middle of the day.

• Why is it that places around here that offer lessons in things that I'd like to learn or get better at ( such as cooking, sewing, scrapbooking, knitting, cake decorating, Tai Chi...) always offer them in the middle of the day. Do they not think that the people who work regular office hours would like to take a class occasionally? Can't they do a Saturday occasionally? *sigh* oh well.

• It is very cold but there is no snow here.

• We are going to the chocolate fest and an advertising awards banquet this weekend. Somehow I don't think my healthy eating is going to stay in tact.

I'm not sure why, but this illustration reminded me of Farmwife. Maybe it's the hair. Or perhaps that the character is expecting... or maybe it was all those bulb catalogs she got me hooked on ;)

Ponderment of the Day

Why does bottled water have an expiration date?
When does water go bad?

Sucked in Again or Relating to the Past

It was just a simple question. Just a curious, simple question that a friend of mine asked. This happens occasionally, you work for the media people and hear about stuff quickly and have access to other forms of media and people start asking you if you know about "such and such". Plus this friend knows I'm an avid history buff and story listener so she figured I might know. She asked about a building downtown, if I knew what it might be. I didn't.

And that's where it started.

Of course since I didn't know, I felt compelled out of helpfulness and curiosity to find out what it was, so I started some online research. And then I found a website with newspaper articles on this town's history. I still haven't figured that one out, but I've learned some fascinating stuff. I've been completely sucked in again just like when I was a kid back in Middle TN. I'm completely absorbed in the history of this town now. I've been reading that website for the last 2 hours. I needed to be working on an illustration or a couple of other things I had on my list to get done this weekend. But instead I got sucked in... just like I did in childhood. I tell you this because I'm shocked at myself. Of course it probably didn't help that my husband is sitting in the other room watching Citizen Kane it kind of added to the atmosphere of what I was reading. I have already seen the movie but he had never seen it so he rented it. This is why I am in here, and he is in there alone. I had to watch it in Civics class once or was it English? Anyway I had to watch it in high school so I don't have fond memories associated with it. But husband seems to have an odd fondness for old movies (something I didn't know when we married - but have found I really like about him). But I digress... what was I talking about? Oh yeah!

Now, if I thought it would make money, I would be looking into how much of an investment it would be to get one of those trolley buses (because I just learned this town use to have real trolleys) and start a history tour business of downtown. Because that is one of my long forgotten dreams. But since this town isn't exactly a tourist destination and I know nothing about running such a business. I suspect it will remain just a long forgotten dream. But if I ever become independently wealthy I may take that up as a hobby. Man, oh man is my history loving blood pumping. And that hasn't happened for a really long time. I may never look at the area around where I work the same way again. Maybe I'll start a photography project! Using the old photos and information from that website and stand at corresponding angles in present day and re-take the photo for comparison. I've always wanted to do that too. Maybe when it is warmer.

What is it about history?? Why am I so fascinated with how things were in comparison to now. Why does it never cease to amaze me how much things can change over a relatively short period of time and how much can happen - how many stories can develop in that space, before things do change. And why did I just find myself teary-eyed over a dog who died over forty years before I was born?

I think the answer is community. I never cease to be amazed at relationships. And I never cease to be amazed by how much things change but yet essentially, deep down, stay the same. Wow. What a fascinating creation community is.

Freeee -dom!!!

A friend of mine sent this to me and I thought you all would be interested as well - of course the donations have a cap.. but even when the cap is met you can get a free pasta cookbook:

Barilla (pasta) will donate $1 to Second Harvest Foodbank for every download of their free cookbook with pasta recipes from celebrities. You can even choose which foodbank you want your donation to go to. It's really easy and only takes a few seconds. The download is an Adobe .pdf file, is less than 3MB and 34 color pages if you choose to print it.

Barillaus


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Then you can go send a Free Pretzel and E-card to your Valentine from Aunt Anne's
Aloveyoucancounton.com

Dear little girl

To my young friend:

You don't know that this is written for you. I doubt if you will ever see it. Maybe I'll actually mail it to you, once my prayers have been answered. But for now it will stay here in a little corner of cyberspace. If I thought you would be receptive I would tell you these things in person, but at the moment I think it would fall on deaf ears. These are things I want you to know. Truths I feel I have learned and want to pass to you.

1. I have loved you since you were born and I first held you. And I will Always - with a capital "A" love you. You will always be part of my family, even if we are not related biologically. And even when you do things that I don't agree with. No matter what I will love you.

2. Your mama loves you. No matter how much it may seem like she doesn't sometimes, I've known her many years and she loves you more than words can say. Sometimes Mamas have a lot to deal with and it just doesn't come across as well as it should. But I know from everything she tells me, how proud she is of you, and how many wonderful things she wants for you. She may seem really mean sometimes, but a lot of that is just being protective of you.

3. You really are a good artist. I don't just say it to flatter you. I think you honestly have talent. As you grow up and you show your work, you will get rejected. But don't let that get you down. It is no reflection on the quality of your work, it is just a reflection of difference in people's preferences. Just because one person or even one committee of people doesn't like your work, does not mean there won't be a different committee or person who will. That is the nature of art. Just know for a fact that you have a good eye and a good passion and that, my little girl, will take you far in the art world.

4. Our actions have concequences. If we do good, most of the time we will have good results. If we do bad stuff a lot of times we'll get bad results. Sometimes consequences are long in coming. Sometimes they are swift. Sometimes bad stuff happens when we do good stuff and good stuff happens even though we do bad, but as a rule you reap what you sow. We can be forgiven for what we do, but we still suffer the consequences of the action. Keep that in mind before you act on any impulse. Someone once said of jumping off a building and then realizing you had made a mistake... "God will forgive you, but gravity won't."

5. Nothing and no one can separate you from the love of God (look up Romans 8 it's a very comforting book). When everyone else seems to be abandoning you, or not paying attention to you, you can absolutely count on God. Trust me. Better yet, trust Him.

6. People will be mean to you. Some people will be mean to you even when you are nice to them. Some people will use you. Some will break your heart. Some will make fun of you. It will hurt and it will make you mad. But know that they don't have any clue about who you really are. The only one who knows you inside and out is God and He felt like you were worth dying for to save. And know that you don't have to retaliate. They will get their come-up-ance. It may not seem like it at the moment, but it will happen. See #4 about consequences of actions.

7. Boys think differently than girls do. Even if your best friend is a boy, and you feel like you are totally on the same wave-length. You can bet the he thinks differently than you do. Keep that in mind when you think they "get" you, or when you think you "know" what they are thinking. Chances are it probably isn't that accurate. You'll have moments when they do "get" you and you communicate well, and you'll learn ways to communicate better. But the fact will remain that they think different.

8. It sucks to be a girl your age. But you'll get use to all those changes, and at some point they won't seem so bad. They'll always be a bit annoying, but it won't be as bad. You'd be amazed at all the mechanics going on in your body. It is a magnificent machine in there, and once you realize how well it works together you'll be slack-jawed at the complexity of it. It won't make those times of the month any easier.. but at least you know it has purpose and can wonder at the complexity.


I was going to make this list 10 things long. But I think I've covered the important thing, and I can't remember what the other two were. But just know I love you. Know that I'll always be here for you. And that I will always say prayers for you, whether you like it or not.

Sincerely, your aunt zann

I'm not a witch! I'm your wife!

Which Princess Bride Character are You?
this quiz was made by mysti

Books!!!

First off, thanks to all for the prayers and comforting words. I know my parents and my Aunt Margie appreciate them. My parents were unable to make it up for the funeral due to weather in the various locations along the route, but they plan to make a trip up in the near future to comfort their friend, and I'm hoping to get down to comfort them this weekend.

Now on to the topic at hand... BOOKS!!

Queen Mother (all hail Queen Mother) tagged me. I can't tell you how happy that made me. I think I was just needing to be tagged. But I'll get into that in another post on another day. Today I'm going to discuss a favorite topic - BOOKS!!

1. A Book that Changed Your Life:
I'd probably say On The Anvil by Max Lucado
because it came around to me at just the right moment in time and
helped me through an incredibly difficult time in life and Mr.Lucado just has a way that speaks God's words and comfort to my brain.

2. A Book You've Read More Than Once:
style="font-style:italic;">Those Who Love a book of
poetry by Sara Teasdale. I remember things too well so I don't re-read
other books very often, but poetry is different.

style="font-weight:bold;">3. A Book You'd Take onto a Desert
Island: A survival guide, that includes detailed
instructions for food, shelter and escape.

style="font-weight:bold;">4. A Book that Made You Laugh:
Junie B. Jones any of them in the series and most
recently "No Paint" a wacky retelling of the three little pigs, and
just about anything by Terry Pratchett.

style="font-weight:bold;">5. A Book that Made You Cry:
A Coroner's Journal
by coroner, LouisCataldie

6. A Book You Wish Had Been Written:
"How
to effectively communicate with and get your Husky to hush." If you did
not know, huskies are notorious talkers... Sasha is no exception.


7. A Book You Wish Had Never Been Written:
Confessions of a Teenage Baboon by Paul Zindel - seriously I hated that book and I was forced to read it in 9th
grade. It was a bad attempt at being Catcher In The Rye, or The
Outsiders, but failed miserably. Of course I had to read both of those
too, and although I remember liking Catcher in theRye slightly more
than the Outsiders - I didn't really like either of those either. I
guess I'm not much on male teenage angst books. I did like A Separate
Peace by John Knowles though, and the Great Gatsby, so all the books we
were forced to read we not for naught.

8. A Book You're Currently Reading:
Facing Your Giants by Max Lucado


9.
A Book You've Been Meaning to Read: There's a list, do
you want it? Here's the first few on the list style="font-style:italic;">Mere Christianity by C.S.
Lewis, Several Terry Pratchett Books, and thesequel to Artemis Fowl (That's right, Did, I finally read it!!)

Is
it weird that I love books but don't read much? Well, not read like my
other friends read. I enjoy reading but mostly hate novels. There are
exceptions, of course, likeSharyn McCrumbs mysteries, or Some of
Pratchett's books for grown-ups and of course the late great Douglas
Adams, but for the most part I don't really like novels unless they are
in the youth section of the library. Go figure. I love lots of novels
I've read from there though. I'll blame it on my short attention span.
If you don't grab my interest in the first chapter, you've pretty much
lost me for good. I'm not a detail person, and tend to get too bogged
down by too muchdescription or back story. I like things that cut to
the chase. And I suppose that is why I like kids books. Maybe I just
have the attention span of a kid? I also read a lot of non-fiction as
long as it is broken into short chapters and a I do read magazine
articles.

Raise your hand if you ever would have guessed that or remembered that I use to work at the public library? Anyone? Anyone?

Yeah,
I barely remember it too, but it was one of my favorite jobs that I've
ever had. I loved shelving the books and getting first pick, and
helping with research (thankfully, you wouldn't think it, but I do get
to do a lot of that in my current profession). But most of all I loved
working in the children's section. I loved the colors, and artwork. The
creative writing. I mean you look at some kids books and think "I could
do that", but then you'll look at others like, ShelSilverstein , for
instance and think "Wow, that's deep. But not too deep for little kids
to enjoy it." - genius. That job led me to a possibility of a career as
an illustrator. Not that I'veachieved that yet, but since I do have
several paid projects floating around out there. I think I can consider
myself an illustrator. I've also seriously considered going back to
school and getting my Masters in Library Science. There are just two
things keeping me from that. Time & Money. I'm not even finished
paying for my first stint in college, paying for more is a miserable
idea to me. But I would so love to work in a library again.

Until
then I will just continue to build my little library of reference
books, art books, children's books and folklore. Someday perhaps myillustrations will find their way onto my shelves. Maybe even my writing (haha
) who knows. I'm thinking about making a t-shirt that says "Thank you
Mr. Gutenberg" in typewriter font. Wonder how many people would get it?
My guess is not many remember who first made marketable literature
available to the masses.

And Inkling, this is for you. My little joke of the day. If Mr. Gutenburg's machine broke down, did it make him de-pressed?

Okay.. I think it is time to get off here and go stick my nose in a book or something. Goodnight.

P.S. Don't ask me what's up with the formatting here. Seems like this happens everytime I run spellcheck on something. And I don't know how to really fix it. So I apologize for the look of this and hope you can still manage to read it.

My cookie

You Are a Black and White Cookie

You're often conflicted in life, and you feel pulled in two opposite directions. When you're good, you're sweet as sugar. And when you're bad, you're wicked!

What Kind of Cookie Are You?

Funny, it's kind of like the "girl with a curl" poem. Which is also accurate to me.
I was tagged by Wandering Heart, I tag anyone else who would like a cookie. :)

Make new friend but keep the old....

Sad news today. My mom just called. My Uncle Grant passed away this
morning. This is not my dad's brother. This is not my mom's brother.
But he might as well have been to both. He and his wife Margie, are one
of those special relations known as life-long friends.

Grant was a tall, quiet man, with mischievous eyes. That's what I will always remember him for. That and his soft spot for a geeky, history obsessed little girl. My parents met Margie and Grant when both couples were stationed overseas. Margie taught my mother to cook. Dad and Grant worked together on base and became fast friends. Growing up we heard many a tale of their adventures together. One of my favorites was when Dad and Grant were babysitting Grants oldest daughter, while Mom and Margie went to do something. The men decided they needed to run an errand too so they dropped the little one off at a base baby-sitting/daycare thingy, and when they went to pick her back up they came close to accidentally taking the wrong baby home.

When they all came back to the States the relationship became a long distance one as mom and dad returned to their southern home and Margeand Grant returned to one in the great white north. But there has never been a month that has gone by I don't think where a phone call was not exchanged between them. All my years growing up, I can remember anticipating the first major event of the holiday season, which was the
opening of what we referred to as "The Margie Package". Every year, Marge and Grant would get us a little gift, lots of candy, stuff from their state, a calendar for mom and dad, and Margie's famous "Nut Balls" (I think most people call them Mexican Wedding Cookies), and my mom did the same for their bunch. I remember a couple of times when they came to visit us. We met them for vacation in Ohio one year and went to Kings Island. Another year they came to visit us and we took them to Mule Day. Then we visited their home and I had my first plane ride. And one time they came down to visit us and we took them to the re-enactment of the battle of Franklin.

This is where I bonded with my Uncle Grant. I had just finished elementary school, was about to start Jr. High and I'm not sure what started it, but something had sparked and interested and obsession with me and the Civil War. I of course really had no interest in the war itself or the causes of it. I was completely caught up in the perceived romance of the era. Big fancy dresses,big fancy houses,unrequited love, oppressed women becoming spys and heroes , the inner struggles, that kind of thing. I read books about it. I watched documentaries. I visited historic landmarks repeatedly in the area anytime anyone would take me. Even became the (probably) the youngest member of the (my hometown) Historical Society. I tried my best to collect enough authentic garb to attend the Antheneum Girls School, but frankly it was far more than we could afford as were authentic costumes. I day dreamed about it. It really was an obsession. I think I might have even asked my mother if I could bind my feet at one point (which was a popular 1800's trend), but thankfully she said no. Well, it turned out that my Uncle Grant shared my interest in history. Hequietly toured the battlefield with the rest of the family but he came to my rescue as I was just about to purchase what I thought was an authentic piece of civil war history... a rusty pocket knife from a peddler at the field. He helped me recognize the piece as being more modern. I left disheartened but with my money. But following Christmas (which was just later that month), my Uncle Grant sent me a real piece of history. He sent me a real 1863 penny and a note. I still have it. It is a treasure. It made it even more of a treasure to me when my mother told me. "you hold on to that. Your Uncle Grant doesn't write notes to many people, I for one have never gotten a note from him, so the fact that he wrote you is very special."

At an awkward preteen age, I don't think that there is any more special of a gift to receive, than to hear "you are special" and have evidence to the fact. My Uncle Grant did that for me the year I graduated high school as well by sending me an ornament that he had picked out himself for me, with a handwritten note. I don't know what happened to the ornament. My guess is that it is with Mom's ornaments somewhere. But I have the box and the note. And every year when I get out the Christmas stuff I take that out and read it.

Grant suffered from Diabetes and smoking probably exacerbated the progression of the deterioration of his kidneys. He had been on dialysis for at least 6 years, as that was why they couldn't make it to my wedding. And though I'm not sure of how exactly he died, I'm told he had been in a coma since Monday. I don't know what his relationship with God was like. And I ask that you will send up a prayer for his wife and grown children, and dear friends that he leaves behind. And I hope that at some point in a letter or note that I wrote back that I made it obvious, but if I didn't let me say it here.

"Uncle Grant, you were special too."

As to the birthday in question....

Some of you have asked about the birthday garb in my Avatar and my mention of a birthday present earlier this week. I deeply appreciate that :).

Anyway, the birthday in question is my own and it will be occuring on Tuesday. But since I will be at work and then my in-laws on Tuesday, I knew there would be no time to change my avatar then, and since I had bit of time last night, I went ahead and changed it. They say there will be bagels at work on Monday to celebrate the January birthdays. I'm looking forward to that. I love a Panera bagel.

But again thank you very much for the wishes, they mean so much to me. :)

Dancing to my own drummer.

When I was little I wanted to be a dancer. Lots of little girls do. Dance has always been an instrument of suduction. An expression of fitness and beauty, of grace and dignity. It is in our natural instincts to be drawn to such an effective tool. Not to mention the endorfins it creates. When I was young I would imagine myself as a star on the stage performing. When I went through my Civil War phase in early middle school (remind me to tell you all about that sometime) I taught myself to waltz and boxstep with the image set in my mind that I would be ready when a soldier came to sweep me off my feet. Soon after that when I and started looking at Tigerbeat and such magazines I imagined myself as an exceptional back-up dancer of whom a member of my favorite boy band would take interest. In high school I wanted to be one of the girls on the field or the center of attention in the Senior musical.. or if nothing else the girl the boys wanted to dance with at the dance or prom. There was only one problem with all these fantasies. I have no rhythm, and no coordination.

My mother recognized this longing for dance and got me into the only dance lesson she could find that we could afford and would give me a taste of what dance lessons were really like. Our librarian who was a good acquaintence of my moms taught "Clogging". Oh yes, now there is an boy-attracting dance for you. I was only 9 or 10 when she got me into those lessons. And although I liked it, I just couldn't get the hang of it. I still remember the basic call that I had to practice over and over "double-toe, rock, step" but I have no idea even now what that means or what the moves were. As I mentioned before, I did succeed in teaching myself from movies and videos how to waltz and box step. I also learned social-circle dances from various re-enactment troops and at one time in Jr. High, a friend patiently taught me to do the "Roger Rabbit". And my mother taught me how to "Pony" and do the "Twist" around that same time. And in my freshman year of college I mastered the "Macarena" - embarrassing as that my be. But that is the extent of my dancing career. And I have accepted the fact that I am not a dancer. I dance in the privacy of my own home, occasionally with my husband when he is willing, often with the dog and almost never in public - unless just being silly. I've found many more activities that I find much more enjoyable. But I still I continue to try to learn to dance anyway. Why? Because I enjoy it.

Here's another fun fact about me. I hate aerobics.

This little bit of info does fit in right here and I'll tell you why. Because I've discovered that apparently there is a fine line between aerobics and dance. Or at least aerobics people would have you believe that. I took Aerobic Dance in college as one of my PE credits. I actually looked forward to that class. I had always wanted to take a "real" dance class. And that was the only dance class not requiring a pre-requisite available. And I know some will find this offensive but at the time I didn't consider Clogging a "real" dance. I have since changed my mind thanks to some dear friends who are cloggers. But that isn't the point. The point is that I thought I was going to get some instruction in some good-for-you, good-looking dance moves. You know, like you see back up dancers do.

Nope. Aerobic dance has nothing to do with dance. At least not in my opinion. From what I could tell the only similarities between it and dance is that you had to form a "routine" - or a combination of moves. They very rarely seem to flow with the music. Which to me is what dance is about. I hated every minute of that class except for the breif little bit where we used these nifty "slide-glide" gizmos, but I quickly learned that, that aggrivated my bad knee. So really, I didn't find much redeeming qualities in that class. I was, as in most cases of PE during my lifetime used as an example of what not to do. And I could never keep up or would accidently go the wrong way. It was a humiliating humbling experience. That was 7 or 8 years ago. You'd think I would have learned from that. But no. Since then I've tried videos to learn to "belly-dance" my way to fitness. Which actually was fun, but very complicated. And most recently during these cold months when I'm unwilling to go outside to exercise, I've tried "Dance Your Way to Fitness" or some obsurd DVD title like that. And I have rediscovered. This isn't dance. It's just aerobics disguised as dance! There are parts of it I like, and it is better than no activity at all on the nights that I can't make it to Curves, but I hate the music, the smiley girls who appear to do everything effortlessly, and the voice of the instructor. So I've started doing it my own way. I stick my little ipod shuffle on. Hit the mute button. Follow the moves that I can do and do my own moves to the beat that I enjoy during the parts where I can't keep up or follow their lead. Like turns or those combinations of really fast moves that alternate feet. I'm still tryint to incorporate some of those moves... but really I just keep moving until they get back to something I can do. We'll see if I can keep from getting frustrated with it and quitting before the end of winter (which is what happened a couple of year ago with the belly-dance tape). I've also considered taking a "Shag" class out at a local hotel if I could find a friend to take it with me. But for now I will just do the few moves I do know... and just dance to my own drummer. In the immortal words of Bob the Tomato and Larry the Cucumber. "Dance, Dance, yeah."

Losing the Battle of the Hair

I'm quite happy with the hair on my head. Sure I have moments when I want to pull it out or shave it off. It has a tendency to go fro and scarecrow on me every now and again but overall I'm happy with it. In the past I've been known as such wonderful nicknames as "fuzzhead" or "frizz". I've had the hugenormous bangs and even really big hair, but I pretty much have that under control now. No, where I am losing the battle with hair is not on my body. It is on the floor and other surfaces of our house.

I'm beginning to think that J and myself shed an unusually larege amount. And between that and the dog, we just can't keep the hair at bay. I can sweep it or mop it up turn around and it's all right back. Or rather more has taken it's place. Perhaps we are related to cousin it.

You know how some people can't stand the sound of nails on a chalkboard (okay so I'm no exception to this but I digress...) well I can't stand the feeling of hair on my hands. It's a sensory issue, I suppose. Particularly wet hair. This is the reason I don't like using mooses that you have to rub in with your hands. Because they make my hair stick to my hands. I can handle shampoos and conditioners because you are standing in the shower and the water will rinse the hair right off. But boy do I hate cleaning it out of the shower afterward and the sink! Why does our hair act like magnets and just stick to the sink? And then I'll find hair in some odd place like on top of a shelf that is taller than all of us and I wonder "how did it get there?" but I know the answer to that... it's air.


In short. I hate sticky hair and I have lost my battle with it. If you see me in person some day and I am covered in unfoliculed hair - just know I tried my best, but the battle was just too great.

Random bits

- Is it sad that I like the new automatic paper towel dispenser at work because when no one is looking i can pretend that I'm doing Jedi mind tricks to get it to give me paper towels?

- Never park under a lamppost. Lamppost = lots of bird doo

- I designed a van today. It was not my best work. But without longer to think about it and more resources and knowledge of how to design a van it was the best I could come up with.

- My friend in Wisconsin sent me a cheese hat as an early birthday present. It made me very happy.

- I wish our 1099s would come in so that we can get our taxes done and I can get the tax stuff off my desk.

One little note from church that I wanted to share, that kind of settled my heart a bit and I hope it may do the same for you.

It was on family and parenting. Quoted from our pastor:
"The Bible has a lot to say about parenting, but strangely it has very few examples of it being done well. In fact there are some pretty messed up families in there. Murder, rape, adultery, drunkeness all can be found in the families of the Bible"

Take what you may away from that. I took it as comfort that I don't have to worry so much about doing things right. I can just rest in the fact that as long as I'm relying on God, he'll take care of things should he ever choose to bless us in that manner, and that no one should really feel shame for having a family that isn't June and Ward Cleaver. Of coures, if you are really interested in the full context of it, you can listen to it by sometime next week here the sermon title was "Desperate Households- Money, sex and kids, oh my." and it's part of a study in Colossians.

I just thought I'd share.

Lesson so far this weekend.

- Never ever forget to stir the cabbage. It makes a very very stinky mess that is black and icky and hard to get out of the pan.

Words, Words, Words and Pictures

I wrote down this topic over a week ago. Knowing that I had stuff I wanted to say. But I'm afraid as time has slipped away from me without time to write it all down, a lot of what it was I was going to write about has disappeared. By the way, you will probably notice lots of typos and disconnected thoughts in here from now on. I've decided to stop beating myself up about not having intellegent stuff to post. I will no longer fall victim to my control-oriented nature, throw caution to the wind and introduce two new things to this blog. First is "stream of consciousness blogging" in other words, I'm not going to sort it all out and try to compose it anymore, I'm just going to write straight from my head. So be warned it may never make sense to anyone but me. You will even probably see words that don't actually exist because that is just how I talk and how I talk to myself in my head. Secondly I will be introducing "Random Ponderment" posts and they will probably involve bullets like....
- these
- not like the kind used in guns

I think the subject that I wrote down to write about, and that I was trying to remember had something to do with Shakespeare and my love for the play Hamlet. In that work I do believe Shakespeare was a genius. There is such wonderful wordplay in it. Such deep thought. And since I got the Mel Gibson movie version for Christmas and we watched it last week, I'm pretty sure it had something to do with that.

There's a line in it where Polonius asks Hamlet, what he is reading and Hamlet answers "Words, Words, Words" and if I was giving awards I would give one to Mel Gibson for best delivery ever of that line. I've heard other actors deliver it differently and it just didn't have the same effect on me as that did, but to me that has stood out in my head for yeeeaaaarrs. I first saw that movie at the theater with my sister and her fiance - they've been married 14 years now that should give you an idea of how many years it has been. That movie instigated an interest in Shakespeare, and since then I have read a great number and even performed in a few of his plays. That movie developed conversations that lead to relationships that led to me being molded as a person. And you know why? It's all about "words, words, words". I've discovered that words must be one of my dearest passions. I've recently discovered while pulling together ads for our company to enter into competitions that it really isn't the design work that I feel proud of. What I feel proud of are my words. The ads that I've had a hand in the copy-writing* I love illustrating but I love writing ad copy just as much. I love to play with words. And this realization made a lot of things in my life make sense. It made sense that Proverbs and Psalms are two of my favorite and most comforting books of the Bible to me, and why I enjoy the parables so much. And why I enjoy talking and writing letters, and why I get my feelings hurt if I'm not spoken to or mentioned. It makes sense why lack of feed back brings me down, but even mediocre compliments make me very happy. Words have great power to me. And I guess to all of us in one way or another. And if words are so powerful to me then it makes sense to me why it bothers me not to post or that when I post to post incoherently with bad grammer. But I'm going to put that asside, as I mentioned before and because there is something even more powerful and I'll get to that here in a minute. And as I continue thinking about this I'm realizing words are far too big of a topic for this blog post. I could go on for hours. So lets move on to my other passion..

Pictures. Not just drawing pictures, though I enjoy that emensely. No, I enjoy photographs as well. OH! Wait! I remember one of the other reasons I was writing about words. It was the Christmas letters! I love Christmas cards and Christmas letters! Why? Because they have words, they tell stories. Usually ones I haven't heard before. I just wish my house was big enough that I had enough room to store all of them away for years and years. I already do that with pictures, I can't start with letters too or I will need a whole room soley devoted to them. I have this theory though that if I kept all my letters as I keep all my pictures and kept them together, that I would have a perfect biographies of friends and relatives for later generations to see and oggle over. But alas the need for space in our tiny 900 sq fter out weighs the want to preserve the history of the individuals of the human race. I know their stories and tell them with the pictures as much as I can. I don't scapbook... I just picture book. I'm only 29 and with no kids but yet I have 6 gigantic photo albums with pictures and stories in them that I can't bear to part with. I can't imagine how much it will grow when/if we have children. I have pictures of friends from the time I met them to present with photos of their children as they've grown from infants to pre-teens. I hold onto them because who they are and their stories mean so much to me. I know in my little heart of hearts that my children aren't going to care who these people are. They may have a passing curiosity but more than likely they will never have opportunity to meet many of these people in person and this treasure of mine will be less valuable to them. But I care, and I bet their families care. So maybe just maybe someone will want them someday. I love being able to look at time passing through my fingertips. And I keep some letters here and there just to give samples of the people in my album's "voice". I love looking back and seeing how far we've come. How much can happen in such short amounts of time. How things thought impossible become possible. That was another moment with words I was going to write about. I cleaned out our bookshelves the other day and found our "pre-marital counseling book" I hadn't cracked the thing open since the class I don't think. But there were all our little exercises inside. We had fun looking back, and seeing what we've done and what we haven't done. What our expectations were then and what our reality was and is. I was suprised to find that we had met pretty much all of our "long-term (3-5 year)" goals.

Words and pictures must be important to other people too or else movies wouldn't be so popular. I pondered for a moment if words and pictures could perhaps be the answer to life, universe and everything. Of course many know that answer is actually 42** but then I thought that it can't be the answer because the blind and deaf still have led enjoyable lives. But then again they still have some form of communications. So maybe it isn't so much words but rather communication. Which God makes a point of telling us is important all through the Bible... so perhaps communication is the key to life the universe and everything and therefore I should communicate more and one way of doing that is blogging. Thus the creation of "Stream of Consciousness blogging" of which this, I'm sure is a shining example and "Random ponderments" which I'm sure you will more as we go through the year. So here's hoping to make more posts. Probably shorter posts, but communication none-the-less. Just lots more words, words, words and a few pictures here and there.

* Copy-writing as in the writing of copy or text for the ad, not to be confused with copyrighting as in getting that little "c" in a circle to go on everything.

**Reference to Douglas Adams' book Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy some will recognize it, both others might not. So I put a footnote.

clarification

I fear my last post was read/taken wrong. I'm not saying that one shouldn't blog frequently. In fact, I enjoy that most of the people I read do blog frequently. It was more of an expression at my dismay that I can't seem to manage it. I got stuff to say, darn it! And by the time I'm able to compose it an order that makes sense its all old news. That's happening a lot with a few areas of life right now. I just feel like I'm falling behind. Thing like this come in waves in my business. It's either feast or famine as they say. When it's feast - like now, you wonder at how to get it all done, and when it's famine, you wonder whether you will survive the drought.

It is 10 pm and I must go vacuum now.

playing catchup

How in the world do so many of you blog so often? I've been reading all morning. Don't get me wrong, I've enjoyed it. It's like having a lot of letters in the mail. But I've got two blog posts in draft right now that I can't find time to finish, so I sit in awe at your time-management skills.

So in lue of those getting finished real soon (it is terribly busy at work and at home right now) I'm going to answer the questionaire that Farmwife TAGed me for.

When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? Geez, I've really broke out this month.
How much cash do you have on you? $0 I very rarely keep cash because I spend it too easily, I'm a lot more careful with cards.
What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR? Lore
Do you label yourself? Oh all the time, I really enjoy my label maker.
Bright or Dark Room? BRIGHT!!!! unless developing my own pictures, then I'll use a dark room.
Why is there always a missing question? If I ask "how do you know the question is missing?" that adds the missing question back and therefore nullifies the first question doesn't it?
What does your watch look like? my watch looks a whole lot like a cell phone, because I don't use a watch, I use my cell to tell time.
What were you doing at midnight last night? Just getting to sleep.
Where is your nearest 7-11? I have no idea
What’s a word that you say a lot? "Anyway" and "No problem"
Who told you he/she loved you last? J
Last furry thing you touched? Sasha
How many rolls of film do you need developed? Haven't used real film in about 4 years. I'm all digital anymore.
Favorite age you have been so far? I really enjoyed 17, but 28 wasn't too bad.
Your worst enemy? my mouth
What is your current desktop picture?I don't change it often enough, so there is still a picture of the interstate with fall leaves. At home there is my desktop dog.
What was the last thing you said to someone? no kidding
The last song you listened to? Copperhead Road (I can't remember who sang that though)
What time of day were you born? 10:30 AM
What do you do when vending machines steal your money? Shake them, or if I have more money try to get the next item to bump the first and there by get two items. Last resort is get Garry (my co-worker to come down and shake it for me - he has a knack.
Do you consider yourself kind? most of the time
What’s your life motto? I have lots of them, "Never put off til tomorrow what you can do today", "love one another", "everyone leads a life of quiet desperation", "you should not stop playing because you grow old because you grow old if you stop playing"... and I could go on.
Name three things you have on you at all times. glasses, rings, socks
Can you change the oil on a car? no.
When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it? This weekend to A and one to the little girl I'm doing a Flat Stanley for.

St. Francis and Little David

First off before I forget, this image if for Cate. It is what I was trying to post in my reply to one of her posts, but wouldn't post. So here you are.

Now on to the story- I was inspired by Art's wonderful tale of the Tallyman in church the other day to write about two special little people in my life. My neices. My sister has two little girls. They are as different as daylight and dark, but are yet - so my sister tells me- both a lot like me. This worries me for having children of my own. If my sister's kids are both a lot like me.... will my children be a lot like her? Will I have a little book worm whom I can't convince to go outside? Will my children correct my grammer and always have a better come-back as my sister always did? Will they demand the front seat as their "birthrite?Perhaps someday we'll find out. If they are, that won't be a bad thing. My sister has always kind of balanced me out. We didn't live in the house together very well, because our personalities both tend to jockey for "lead dog" position. But ever since she married and moved out we've been the best of friends. But that isn't what this post is about so back to the stories at hand.

Her oldest girl is 9. She's the wiz kid, but struggles in school due to some learning disablities. I've named her something here before... but I can't remember what it is so I'm going to redub her "St. Francis". As in St. Francis of Assisi. I've never known a child so devoted to animals. She won't let you kill anything. Not bugs. Not snakes. Not spiders. She loves each and every one of God's creatures and she loves them passionately. She even loves the unlovable creatures. Some little children when they go to meet their baby sibling for the first time, take a baby doll or a teddy bear to the hospital. Not St. Francis. She cradled a plastic alligator wrapped in a baby blanket. And she loves them with great knowledge. She knew more scientific names of dinosaurs and what a trilobite was at age 5 than I did after taking Paleo-geography classes in college. The first year we did Christmas at the cabin in Gatlinburg she was 5. I can remember her looking up at me and saying "Oh look aunt Zann - Shale. Do you know how Shale is made?" and proceeded to tell me. She's a fascinating little person with an imagination and memory that doesn't quit. She loves telling stories and jokes. She loves pretending. And has no fear of people, she'll talk to anyone. I can totally see her following her aunt and father's footsteps into the community theater someday. She has no fear of getting dirty and would live outside if someone would let her. She also likes to lead. I witnessed this once at a library function my sister invited me along to. The poor librarian ended up interupting my neice at one point and said "St. Francis, are you the librarian? Then will you please let me run the party?" Geez I love that kid. She makes me

My sister's youngest, who is 5, I will dub "David" as in David of the Bible. Because she dances for the Lord. She is our little ballerina and little girly-girl. There are no other colors worthwhile besides pink and purple in her opinion. She is all about crafts, drawing and painting. She loves to decorate. She's a very observant child. If you do anything different with your home she notices and comments on it. She's a director too, much like her mother. If you play Barbies with her, she has already written out your role in her head and will tell you. "No, you are doing it wrong, you are suppose to say..." and "now, your doll does this". She's a bit of a clown to. She will act silly if she thinks it will make you laugh. The reason I'm even writing about these two here in my journal is because Art's story reminded me of "David". Christmas before this past one, we were all together and getting ready to read the Christmas story from the Bible as is tradition in our family for the night before opening gifts. We had had a big day and were trying to settle down for the night to. We told the girls to come around the fire that we were going to read a story. St. Francis settled right down (comes with age you know) but the over-tired "David" asks "What story?"
"One from the Bible" my dad says.
"Awwww, not the Bible" my neice complains and slumps over to her seat.
I remember feeling that way about it when I was little too. Big words that you don't understand, concepts that you don't quite relate to yet, and worse yet it was one that had no pictures. We all related. That's why it was funny to us. That and the fact my sister said "I promise, Daddy, I'm not raising heathens." But it was apparent a few moments later when we started singing carols that, "David's" woship style is not in reading (especially since she didn't know how yet that year) it was instead in dance. She performed an impromptu interpretive dance to Silent Night. The following April, when I came down to visit, I went to church with my sis and parents. In the pew during the hymns - there my neice was again, doing interpretive dance to the hymns between her mom and me. It was adorable. My sister took no notice. I nudged her and pointed. She leaned over and whispered "she does it ever Sunday, we've given up trying to stop her" and why would they. She's not out in the aisle or being disruptive or anything. The little girl is just dancing for her Lord. And I say, let her dance. :) If they made it in children's sizes I would get her this. :)

I also say we should hook her up with Art's little one. He could sing "Come Mister Tally Man" and she could do interpretive dance to it :).

I think I'm going to follow the crowd today. I've enjoyed reading everyone else's New Year's Year in Review posts and thought I would try that myself. Afterall half the time I forget to blog here so there are some things you all may not have known about. And so yeah.. I cheated. I went back through my "That other Place" journal to fill it in. But it's nice to have a "highlights" review of what all happened.

January - Saw Narnia and loved it. J (otherwise known as DH) got the TV of his dreams, turned 28 (did you know my birthday is said to be the sadest day of the year by scientists? it's true.

February -Dad had a cancer scare but all was okay, Met a friend from online from Wisconsin in Nashville, went to the Addy's where neither of us won anything really, Started reading Wyrd Sisters by Terry Pratchett, painted the living room

March - Sasha earned her Canine Good Citizenship, the heat/air died at work we froze, had the driveway paved, illustrated "If You Give A Mom A Mop" in collaboration with Farmwife, Got hit from behind very hard by a woman who wasn't paying attention and had no insurance

April- Had porch built, weather turned warm and we smothered at work, the pitbull next door escaped, finished the coloring book for Inkling, godson got Rocky Mnt. Spotted Fever, invaded by ants

May- Celebrated 4th anniversary, discovered podcasts, participated in the Arthritis Walk with Sasha, won the TPA award, went momentarily fashion crazy, found my doppleganger in the newspaper

June - got charged for a guard rail from a wreck 3 years previous, went to gawk at PETA people, TAG reunion

July- Won my first ever prize from an online contest- as Superman action figure, went to Dollywood with Sis and her fam.

Aug-bought new desks for office, had new roof put on, A finds out she's PG

Sept.- 10 year reunion that I didn't go to, Intimate Issues Conference, Vacation to Dragon*Con and finally finished reading Wyrd Sisters (see February)

Oct.- J turned 31, sasha attacked a possum, sister and her crew came to visit, Christmas ads started

Nov.- Went to Indiana, the sashacam came back online, Thankgiving with In-laws, girls night with old high-school buddies, Farmwife finds out she's PG (I think it was Nov?)

Dec.-Christmas with my family, got my 5 year service award at work, Christmas with Jay's family.

It has been an interesting year. I've set a lot of goals for the next year (and further too) that you can view here

Here's wishing all a happy and prosperous 2007.

I would sincerely like to have that hat my avatar is wearing. And maybe the pants. And of course the penguin. I think Sasha would be good friends with a penguin. But I would never really be caught wearing a turtleneck. I always feel like I'm choking to death in turtlenecks.

Color Theory

Some children see Him lily white,
The baby Jesus born this night
Some children see Him lily white,
With tresses soft and fair.
Some children see Him bronzed and brown,
The Lord of heaven to earth come down;
Some children see Him bronzed and brown,
With dark and heavy hair.
Some children see Him almond-eyed,
This Savior whom we kneel beside,
Some children see Him almond-eyed,
With skin of yellow hue.
Some children see Him dark as they,
Sweet Mary's Son, to Whom we pray;
Some children see Him dark as they,
And ah! they love Him, too!

The children in each different place
Will see the baby Jesus' face
Like theirs, but bright and heavenly grace,
And filled with holy light.
O lay aside each early thing,
And with thy heart as offering,
Come worship now the infant King,
'Tis love that's born tonight!
- James Taylor

They played that song at church before the Christmas Eve service. Believe it or not, it was the first time I had ever heard it. But it harkened me back to high school. My senior year I took a speech/drama class. I had waited forever to be able to do that since I had been involved in the community theater since my freshman year. But the drama/speech class at my high school was not much to speak of. They had gone through a turn over of teachers, and suddenly a guy who I had been in plays with at the community theater was now my teacher. That did not work out as well as I had hoped. I didn't learn a whole lot from the instruction of the class, part of it was me and my teen-age know-it-allness, part of it was that it was his first year teaching... ever, and part of it was probably the premade curriculum. I was thoroughly jealous of my boyfriend at the time who went to a different high school where they had what I felt like was a "serious" drama class - not the joke that ours was. They actually put on more than one play a year, and it wasn't always a musical so even the non-musical folks like myself could show their talent for the dramatic arts. I felt a bit robbed because we had one play the whole year and you couldn't be in said play till you were a senior and then ours ended up being a musical. And because I don't sing- I ended up having one little line - "With mayonaise?" and that of course shot all my day dreams of a moment to shine in high school.

But that being said, now that I am grown up, I realize how much I actually learned from that class after all. Not so much on the drama end, but the speeches had a powerful impact. You see, my colleague from the community theater really encouraged us to make our speeches our own. He gave us a lot of freedom in choosing topics and encouraged discussion after them. Probably a wise choice considering the lack of diversity in the class.

It was the first time that I had ever been part of a minority. I was one of seven white kids in a class of 30. It was in that class that I learned a great deal, questioned earlier assumptions and occasionally had my eyes opened to the view of another culture. We faced bigotry head-on in discussions from both sides. It ended up being one of my most memorable classes from high school. Even though I still would have liked to have taken Spring Hill's "serious" drama class too.

One question that was raised and discussed in that class was "What color was Christ?" which led to "What color is God?". I wrestled with that question for several hours after that class that day, but then I believe I found the answer. It is still the answer I go with that satisfies my mind. I don't believe God is devoid of color. He is too amazing for that. But I don't think he is one single color either. I think He is every color. My back up for this is that Christ said he was "the light of the world" and my simple knowledge of prisms. If prisms reflect and split light, and that causes an array of color, therefore color is caused by light, and without light we see no color, and so if all color and light are inseperable and Christ is light, then Christ must be all colors.

This is just my way of thinking and explaining things to my curious mind. Was it God's inspiration that put this in my head? I don't know. But it has satisfied my curiousity and settled the question in my head. And from the word of the song above, I believe I'm not alone in my way of thinking. But I thought I would share my theory anyway.

You know it is really weird to be this bored at work. And it is even weirder to be sitting at my desk at work and see the corner behind me displayed on the screen in front of me.

Oh Deer, not again.

So you remember me mentioning that I have a tendency to listen to lyrics of music? And how I sometimes get annoyed with lyrics that don't make sense? Well, did I mention that I also get annoyed and rather over analytical when I hear the same song repeated over and over and over again?

Just such a thing happened last year around this time. Last year two of my co-workers kept their phone's 24-7 Christmas hold music going all day long, via speaker phone. I was good for a while, even enjoying it, but after hearing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer 8 times a day for four days straight, I got to that over analytical point, and I made the mistake of commenting to my coworkers what an odd song Rudolph is and what kind of mind possibly came up with it. Who thinks up a red nose for a reindeer? What would cause a reindeer's nose to turn red and glowing anyway? Radioactivity hadn't even been publicized yet. And I also mentioned that reindeer are just not aerodynamically sound to fly.

I know, I know, I sounded like an old scrooge. But I was thoroughly sick of that song and that was my way of showing it. Plus, I've never really been fond of Rudolph anyway. I blame it on that claymation TV special. Although a Christmas classic to many, it always gave me the heeby jeebies.

But I should have kept my mouth shut, as wiser people would have. Because you don't mess with people's beloved traditional characters. My co-workers scoffed and teased me all year for being a "Bah Humbug" and the "Anti-Rudolph". I came back from a trip to find hey had reindeered my desk. I thought they would forget. But nooooo. This year as soon as Christmas stuff started coming out - back around Halloween, they started pointing out every Rudolph they saw. Since things got busy at work, that has kind of calmed down.

Until today.
When I turned around to find a giant Rudolph leering at me from the back corner of the room. The picture is taken from my desk.
Yep. Never going to live that one down.
Note to self: Never mention the "Do You Hear What I Hear" thing to your co-workers, or any other frustrated or non-frustrated disection of a holiday song. They are just too "deer" to people's hearts. And they will never let you hear the end of it.

I am just a posting fool lately

But I had to post this for my friends here to see as well. I ran across this on needcoffee.com and have giggled till my sides hurt at the pictures.

Proof positive that St. Nick, though a kindly old man, is just plain scary

Maybe this is why he only delivers toys after kids are asleep. :D

In Case You Don't Hear from Me

It isn't because I don't like you. It isn't because I don't have anything I want to say to what you blogged about...
No, it is because like many - I can't comment right now. It is highly frustrating. Some of them I can comment just fine on, but honestly it's kind of a crap shoot for lack of a better term.

At first I thought I was having an unusually harder time with the letter combination codes you have to type in to prove you aren't spam. I always struggle with those anyway, because my brain has to really concentrate to put them in the right order and sometimes to read them at all. But that wasn't the case I discovered after reading other people's blogs and seeing that they are having the same problem.

Blogger- get it fixed! You're non-paying customers demand it.

Parody Paradise

My family has always been big on Parodies. We like to laugh. It was not unusual to hear Weird Al playing in our house on any given day. After a good friend who was spending time with us one Christmas sang Christmas at Ground Zero during our annual carol sing around our Christmas tree, it became a regular favorite just to bring a laugh. That is of course until there became a real "Ground Zero" in 2001. I even gave my sis the new Weird Al album for Christmas. (Did I mention that we did Christmas with my family this past weekend?) She could be a Weird Al if she wanted to. She's very talented at coming up with new & humorous lyrics for popular songs at the drop of a hat. She's been doing it since we were teenagers, and it's part of how we'd bond. We'd sit there working on possible new lyrics to things and I'd help with suggestions. She's far better at it than I am, but I've got a few lines in some of her collections. Some of my favorite creations of hers are "The ADD family" to the tune of "The Adams Family" written about all of us, but mostly her husband, two kids and herself, and "Get Around You Any Way We Can" to the tune of "Walking in a Winter Wonderland" about the really slow traffic while traveling at Christmas. This year for the family memory book (oooh remind me to write about the Memory Book on here someday!) she typed out the words to some of her parodies. It was one of my favorite gifts.

Her kids are following in her footsteps. Although they aren't old enough to master the art of word play and rhyme yet, but you can already tell they are working on it and practicing. They love Veggie Tales "Boys In The Sink" which is about as parody as you can get for little ones. My oldest neice is already making her own wordplay jokes. It's great!

My father-in-law does parodies too. He works with the music ministry at his church and makes praise lyrics to Beach Boys and Beetles tunes. They are very fun. DH and I are often his test subjects when go visit on Tuesday nights.

So this year I got myself a Christmas gift. Well really it's more for myself, my sister, my father-in-law and my neices. Just recently I discovered a new Parody band. And I believe I am in love. Not only are they excellent Parody artists, but they are parody artists with a message. They aren't corny - they are just fun. Wish I had discovered them when I was a teenager - because I can feel them appealing to that teenager that is still in me. I only just ran across them a few weeks ago. The group is the Apologetix. They've apparently been around for quite a while, but I'm just now discovering them. I heard one song of theirs on a website I found while looking for something else, so I looked up their website, read some lyrics and then they had an offer I just couldn't refuse. 3 CDs for the price of 1. So I bought them - sound unheard. They arrived yesterday and I love them. They actually play the music well and are able to memic the sound of the actual songs they are parody-ing, which to me is what makes a parody artist good. And the message just rocks! I'm spreading them around to everyone I know. Especially my neices, and I've got a feeling my Godchild will like them too. I've been listening to them in the car on my way to and from work and have gotten tickled at the lyrics and even moved by them. We're going to visit my in-laws for our bi-monthly dinner with them and Jay and I intend to introduce father-in-law to them tonight. And I hope I've just introduced, or perhaps re-introduced you to this fun band as well. My personal favorite so far is "All the Stalls Stink" to Blink 182's "All the Small Things" about Noah. And "Another Kick in the Wall" to Pink Floyd's "Another Brick in the Wall" about the Walls of Jerico coming down.

Good stuff. :D I wonder if they have a Christmas album?

Christmas Carol Ponderments

Not only two in two days but now two in one day. Amazing.

Anyway on my way to work this morning I heard a Christmas carol - specifically Do You Hear What I Hear.
I personally am a lyric person. I like music with good lyrics, I love ballads because of the lyrics, I'm one of those people who if I can't understand what they say I look it up. I'm one who visualizes my own little videos in my head to the music I listen to.... so it should be no suprise that when lyrics don't make sense, it bothers me.

I really like the carol Do You Hear What I Hear up until the third and fourth verse. Up until then I can visualize the wind moving through the sheeps wool causing it to look up and notice the star, and curious reaction of the sheep helping the shepherd to notice the star and also the voices of the angels, but it's when the shepherd goes to the king that I get confused. Because in the Bible the king wasn't too thrilled to hear about the Child shivering in the cold and he sure didn't tell the people everywhere that He would bring goodness and light. No instead he told them "I'm going to kill every one of your male children under 2 years old till I find this Child and end his threat to my rule." And it's highly unlikely that a shepherd would get in to see a king anyway. They weren't the most respected of occupations. They went and joyously told all they had witnessed to everyone they knew but Herod seemed rather suprised by the news of a newborn king when the Magi told him, so I'm guessing the shepherds' news didn't reach him.

Perhaps the shepherd was talking to one of the "Three Kings" who weren't really kings at all but rather wise men from the east, they seemed to realize they were to worship what the star lead them to and that the Child was something to celebrate. They may have told the people everywhere that the Child would bring goodness and light.

I don't know but those lyrics just bother me a bit. What is your insight into it? What Christmas lyrics bother you?

Perhaps my co-workers are right. Maybe I just over-think things ;)

That Grace

Oh look, two posts in two days.
This may just be the end of the world as we know it ;)

Actually I am just now getting around to adding another link to my sidebar and wanted to announce it. Somehow through, Farmwife and Inkling, I have found Grace. Well yes, that kind of grace too but also this kind of Grace :)

I call her "That Grace" in my link because that's what I think when I see that name. It comes from some of my favorite kids books The Junie B. Jones series by Barbara Park. In the books, Junie has a friend whom she refers to as "that Grace". And I just can't see the name without thinking that. So therefore, dear Grace you have a new monicker.

I hope you won't mind, but as my mother always said "A child who is loved has many names"
:)

For the crafty people out there

A friend at work ran across this website and I thought I would share it. If you are looking for unique hand crafted and mostly reasonably priced gifts for Christmas this is a good source. If you are looking for a place to sell your crafty wares... this is also a good place.* It's like a hugemongous online craft fair. Very fun.

Now go forth and create.

*Now this does not necessarily mean that I have anything there... because I don't. Someday I may put stuff up there, but during the Christmas holidays my craftiness pretty much runs out after the Christmas card.. but I wanted to have a place to keep the link and I thought of so many of you other crafty people that I know who make baby blankets, gourd statues, knitted wonders and scrapbooky things and I felt the need to share.

So please enjoy with my compliments :)

Note of Interest

I heard something interesting on the radio this morning and just had to share. Being the non-detail oriented person that I am I had never noticed it before, but as the Christmas season progresses I will definately be keeping an eye out for it now.

They were doing a quiz on A Charlie Brown Christmas and from the answers to that quiz I learned that in Linus's speech about the true meaning of Christmas when he tells about the angels coming to the shepherds - when he says "Be not afraid" he drops his much loved and treasured security blanket.

What beautiful symbolism that I had never noticed. Charles Schultz rocked. I knew that was one of my favorite Christmas shows for some reason.

Strangers

Today I pondered this very interesting question. How many strangers have noticed me that I have never noticed? No this has nothing at all to do with that last entry, suprisingly. But I was outside attempting (note the "attempting" part) to decorate the front of the house when I saw two teenage girls walk around the circle. They were walking and giggling in the way teenage girls tend to do. I was reminded very much of myself and my best friend when we were that age. Then just a few minutes later, I heard two smaller girls playing in a yard up the way. I glanced up to see where the noise was coming from and discovered them running around the yard as one of their parents got things together, then they all loaded into a car. I can recall a very similar experience from my childhood in a neighborhood much like my own, with my best friend from elementary school running around in her leaf covered yard while we waited for her mother to come out to drive me home. And it occured to me - where there neighbors who heard us laughing and looked up from their work to see where the noise was coming from? Where they reminded of a similar experience in their childhood? What about when I was a teenager? What did strangers think then? Did I make them feel like the world was going to south in a handbasket? Did I remind them of times in their youth? Who were the strangers who watched our wedding from the street (it was an outdoor ceremony in a historic town- easily viewable to anyone who wanted to see). We can see them on the video, but I wonder about their stories. Where they there for a visit? Did they live nearby? Did the site encourage or depress them? What about now? What impression do I leave on strangers? That thought makes me a little self-conscious. Are there strangers pondering this very same question?

This of course led me to another thought which was about my preschoolers. I know for a fact that in two years they will have no idea who I am. I know this because I don't remember my preschool teachers. I know this because my preschoolers from last year don't know me now. And that's expected. They don't see me anymore. Their memories are not developed that much to recall the non-repeated. But I remember them. And I remember the 10 year olds I taught in Wednesday night Bible school classes when I was a senior in college, but I'd bet $50 they don't remember me now. Because life led me away from that church and away from their lives. I was just a tiny blip on their radar. But I remember them. I wonder if my Sunday School teachers remember me? I wonder what was going on in their lives and what their journeys of faith were that I was too young to ask about. I know what convinced me to volunteer for that position, what convinced them?

They were stangers to me, but I'm glad they were there. They made a difference. They planted tiny seeds, they helped me create pictures for my mother that I was later able to look back on and not only see how far I had come, but see how much my mother loved me because she kept so many of them. I don't know who it was, but someone must have impressed on me the importance of the cross in a VBS because for years following preschool my prized possession was a glow-in-the-dark cross, that said VBS on the front. I still have it.

The Habitat of the Elusive Zann

Yes, yes, I've been away a while again.
Have I mentioned that I work for a newspaper's advertising dept? Have I mentioned that it is the Christmas season? But those are merely excuses. But I will be honest. I have been writing, I just don't write here. I came here about a year ago with the intention of keeping up with Farmwife. It is a lot quicker than the snail mail letters we had been exchanging - then I discovered other people who I enjoyed reading and keeping up with and a few more old friends. So I started this blog. But I'm really not much of a blogger. I'm too private for that. I'm a journaler. I like knowing who is reading what. It is part of the control freak in me, I think. I've been journaling online for years - since 2001, in fact. But I have controls at my finger tips there. I have a few public enties but the majority are "Friends only" which means only the people I okay to read it, are reading it. No strangers, no lurkers. The idea of lurkers kind of creeps me out. I guess in my very visual mind I picture dark shadowy figures peering in my windows or from around bushes. I write a lot more there, and once I've written there, it feels like quite an effort to come here write the same thing but having to omit details, to avoid unknown eyes seeing things that could potentially put me at risk of identity theft or who knows what else.

But anyway my rambling here has a point - I know I don't blog much but I also know that some of you only read this blog in order to keep up with what all is going on in my life- like snail mail letters- just as I read your blog to do the same with you. If this is the case and you would like to hear from me more often - then you are more than welcome to request a "friending" over at "the other place". If I know you, I'll happily accept it. Even if I'm just getting to know you from here but feel comfortable with you, I will probably friend you. I feel free to share a lot more there. Here, I struggle to make a post because I know myself well enough to know that if I'm not careful I will share more than is prudent to share. That is not to say that I won't still be blogging here. I will. It's just not as frequent. And I didn't know if I had ever mentioned that to you all or not. But there you have it.

Now on to an actual blog entry - or a ponderment.

It's funny, recently I've thought of several things I would like to blog about, but wouldn't you know that right now with the holidays quickly coming upon us (if you hadn't guessed, the holidays are a super busy time in the advertising field), I have no time to do so.

So here is a quick run down of what's happened recently.

- For Halloween they had us dress up at work. I went as a Cat-burglar. I was a cat who burgled, complete with pillowcase, ski cap, mask and flashlight. I was compliment a lot. I lost the competition to the girl who came as the fat lady who had lost her dog like in this comic.

-We went to Indiana, it was still flat.

- I went to vote, like everyone else. Sadly I felt like I was voting for the lesser of the two evils rather than someone I thought would do a good job as far as the senate race went.

- They've already started playing Christmas music over the phone system at work. That in my opinion is just wrong before Thanksgiving.

- This weekend I am driving back home to hopefully have a small get together with 5 of my girl friends from high school. I have a feeling it will end up being maybe 3 of us, but I'm hoping they prove me wrong.

- Perhaps one day I'll actually get to come back with a "real" blog post.