I may become a rock hound. I have one in my pocket that I have named my "thinking rock".
We had a beautiful service at church today. For a long time our church and its leaders have been praying about expanding and in the past few months we have taken steps prayerfully toward that. I am so grateful for our church but that is another story for another day and if anyone wants to read more about the expansion effort and all that it encompasses (it is far more than just a building) you can go here but that too is not the point of my ramblings today. I mentioned it because we were starting on the foundation of the new building projects today. We were each given a rock and Sharpie, and we were told to write out whatever prayer was on our hearts. The pastor specifically mentioned to write down friends and loved ones that we knew have not experienced the grace and mercy that can be found in fellowship with Christ. Of course there were other prayers he mentioned that could be written down too but I didn't hear those because the first bit seemed so directed to me. We were to write them down as these prayers are the reason for this expansion. When I started writing only the first names of dear friends who have blatantly told me they don't believe in God, don't believe in the church, don't believe in Christ or just don't care - my spirit was just crushed. I had too many names for my rock. These are people I dearly love. You can't go through art school or pass time in theater without acquiring friends who don't believe like you do. I'm not sure why the arts and nonbelieving seem to go hand-in-hand anymore. To me it would seem like it should be the exact opposite, but yet I find it to be that I am often in the minority of belief when with a group of creative types. Perhaps it's that way all around though, and those are just the groups I'm most with so that is where I notice it.
Most of the friends names that I wrote down won't even talk of faith. You can watch them brissle at the very mention of the word "church", you can see the hurt and anger in their eyes. They immediately think you are going to judge them so they sometimes judge you first. It is such a delicate thing. So many have been burned badly by churches and church people, that they are automatically on the defense when they learn you are "one of them". I don't keep my own faith hidden, but I know better than to try to push them toward it. I don't want to push them further away. It is not that I don't want to share it with them, but it is hard to share something when the other party won't receive it. So I just love them. It is all that I can do and do well. My thought is, that if I am the only part of the church they will go near then I want it to be a good experience. Maybe they can feel the peace, love, and feelings that I have no words for through me. It is a hard place to be, not knowing how to reach without pushing. The two actions have a lot of the same motions. In one your palm is open and facing up and the other the palm is forward and fingers closed. Interesting symbolism there, if you think about it.
So when we had written down our prayers we went outside to continue the service of prayer and dedication. We placed our stones on a make-shift alter, handing them over to God. Then we were given a small smooth stone to carry around as a reminder of our foundation and refuge.
For me, placing that stone upon the alter gave me hope. And in the moments that followed I could hear the words of a Newsboys song Miracle Child in my head:
we lose hope
we mumble our prayers
we seal off the stairs
and never dare believe your reach
can pass through stone
can lead a child home
can make the dead start blinking
And then my mind went to stones and how much God has showed us with them.
God made water come from a rock for Moses and the children of Israel to prove He cared.
He helped David kill the most large and feared warrior with a stone.
Jerico's wall became a pile of stones
Jesus saved a woman from being stoned to death by daring the whoever was without sin to throw the first one.
He rolled the large stone from his own tomb away.
And if cease to praise then the very rocks will cry out.
Even the very make up of rock is incredible. Just think who may have walked on the rock outside your house. What pieces of history are in that sediment that composed the sedimentary rock that I wrote those names on? I may not know, but God does. And He uses rocks. His reach can go beyond stone and hard places, even hardened hearts.
My rock will remind me of that. The stone in my pocket will help me think of the firm foundation of hope. Remind me of my Rock. It will hopefully help me to remember not to throw stones.
I encourage you to pick up a rock. It's amazing how talkative they can be.
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Monday, August 21, 2006
Treasure Boxes
Over the weekend DH and I started cleaning out the office to make way for brand new "grown-up" desks to replace our old hand-me-down desks and folding table that we have been using as office furniture since we got married. It is an exciting change and an end of an era (well not quite the rest of our house is still furnished in hand-me-down furniture but it is a start).
What we have discovered other than the fact that we have a whole lot of stuff crammed into that little room - is that we had something neither of us knew the other had. Stuffed away at the back of each of our desks, we both had treasure boxes.
I've always heard that you will always be learning new stuff about each other throughout marriage, but somehow it always amazes and tickles me whenever it happens. You start to assume you know him better than anyone else and he knows you better than everyone else and while that may be true you still don't know each other inside and out like you think you do. When marriage or a relationship is new, you are all the time discovering things you didn't realize about your partner before - good things and bad. Odd habits, funny stories, unusual expressions, ect... ect... but as time wears on they all become rather familiar and the noticing of new stuff becomes less frequent. So after 7 years together we have reached the land of less frequency. But still, like yesterday, we discover something new about one another.
I'm now of the mind that if DH and I had met in elementary school we would have become fast friends. However, that would have been impossible because 1. He lived in Indiana and I lived in TN, 2. He was two years ahead of me in school and grades don't tend to mix until you reach JR. High/High School and 3. We were both so shy in our youth that we never would have spoken to each other anyway. I didn't find my voice until I reached my freshmen year of high school and started hanging out with people who taught me how to find. DH still is a sometimes overwhelmingly quiet man. But still, if the circumstances had allowed we would have gotten along well. Over the years we have discovered that we had many shared interests as youths. We both loved history, both wanted to be archaeologists and held expeditions in our back yards, and both loved animals and art. As we grew up our interests changed and varied more widely, we still have a lot in common, but not nearly as exactingly so as when we were small but didn't know each other. We have evidence of this in our treasure boxes that we found yesterday.
What is a treasure box? You might be asking. For DH and I they are little containers filled with odds and ends of collected stuff from our youth. Things that had meaning to us when we were small and still hold too much sentimental value that we just can't let go of them. They don't represent our whole life, and the collections have not been added to since either of us were probably more than 12 years old.. but they act like tiny time capsules reminding us of what we were and where we came from.
My treasure box
Is in a plastic jar with a purple lid. It contains, old coin replicas that I got when I visited Michigan for the first time; two Civil War bullets; A penny from the Bahamas that someone gave me; a Mule Day pin that my mother made; a bracelet sent to me by my sister's Nigerian pen pal when my sister got married; my dad's name tag from when he worked at the A&P when he was a teenager; a quilt piece from my brother-in-law's family that my sister didn't know what to do with but thought I might like because the quilt dated back to the 1800's; the first cross I ever received - I believe I got it at my first VBS, it's plastic and at one time glowed in the dark ; and my first archaeological find from our back yard - a little china plate.
DH's treasure box
is kept in a little Indiana National Bank safe bank and contained a pouch that reads "Trust God"; several coin replicas; a series of coins from the year he was born; a couple of bullets from the Civil War era; some of his dad's old marbles; a couple of old locks; a train flattened penny; a corkscrewed penny; and two of his first archaeological finds from his back yard - a piece of a pipe and 1932 Buffalo Nickel.
We have other strange things that lead us to believe that we have always been meant for one another, but that it just took us 24-26 years, several heartbreaks, many life-changing experiences, and the uninhibiting force of the internet to find each other. Sometimes I forget about the evidence, sometimes I the heartbreaks still make me cry, sometimes I get so focused on all the stuff in our rooms that I miss the evidence. Sometimes I'm really happy we both held on to some little junk in our lives to remind us, how well suited we are to each other.
What we have discovered other than the fact that we have a whole lot of stuff crammed into that little room - is that we had something neither of us knew the other had. Stuffed away at the back of each of our desks, we both had treasure boxes.
I've always heard that you will always be learning new stuff about each other throughout marriage, but somehow it always amazes and tickles me whenever it happens. You start to assume you know him better than anyone else and he knows you better than everyone else and while that may be true you still don't know each other inside and out like you think you do. When marriage or a relationship is new, you are all the time discovering things you didn't realize about your partner before - good things and bad. Odd habits, funny stories, unusual expressions, ect... ect... but as time wears on they all become rather familiar and the noticing of new stuff becomes less frequent. So after 7 years together we have reached the land of less frequency. But still, like yesterday, we discover something new about one another.
I'm now of the mind that if DH and I had met in elementary school we would have become fast friends. However, that would have been impossible because 1. He lived in Indiana and I lived in TN, 2. He was two years ahead of me in school and grades don't tend to mix until you reach JR. High/High School and 3. We were both so shy in our youth that we never would have spoken to each other anyway. I didn't find my voice until I reached my freshmen year of high school and started hanging out with people who taught me how to find. DH still is a sometimes overwhelmingly quiet man. But still, if the circumstances had allowed we would have gotten along well. Over the years we have discovered that we had many shared interests as youths. We both loved history, both wanted to be archaeologists and held expeditions in our back yards, and both loved animals and art. As we grew up our interests changed and varied more widely, we still have a lot in common, but not nearly as exactingly so as when we were small but didn't know each other. We have evidence of this in our treasure boxes that we found yesterday.
What is a treasure box? You might be asking. For DH and I they are little containers filled with odds and ends of collected stuff from our youth. Things that had meaning to us when we were small and still hold too much sentimental value that we just can't let go of them. They don't represent our whole life, and the collections have not been added to since either of us were probably more than 12 years old.. but they act like tiny time capsules reminding us of what we were and where we came from.
My treasure box
Is in a plastic jar with a purple lid. It contains, old coin replicas that I got when I visited Michigan for the first time; two Civil War bullets; A penny from the Bahamas that someone gave me; a Mule Day pin that my mother made; a bracelet sent to me by my sister's Nigerian pen pal when my sister got married; my dad's name tag from when he worked at the A&P when he was a teenager; a quilt piece from my brother-in-law's family that my sister didn't know what to do with but thought I might like because the quilt dated back to the 1800's; the first cross I ever received - I believe I got it at my first VBS, it's plastic and at one time glowed in the dark ; and my first archaeological find from our back yard - a little china plate.
DH's treasure box
is kept in a little Indiana National Bank safe bank and contained a pouch that reads "Trust God"; several coin replicas; a series of coins from the year he was born; a couple of bullets from the Civil War era; some of his dad's old marbles; a couple of old locks; a train flattened penny; a corkscrewed penny; and two of his first archaeological finds from his back yard - a piece of a pipe and 1932 Buffalo Nickel.
We have other strange things that lead us to believe that we have always been meant for one another, but that it just took us 24-26 years, several heartbreaks, many life-changing experiences, and the uninhibiting force of the internet to find each other. Sometimes I forget about the evidence, sometimes I the heartbreaks still make me cry, sometimes I get so focused on all the stuff in our rooms that I miss the evidence. Sometimes I'm really happy we both held on to some little junk in our lives to remind us, how well suited we are to each other.
Friday, August 18, 2006
A quickie
Another girl at work has gotten me involved in "Illustration Friday". I originally found the site I believe through Cate's blog but only took a passing interest and never participated until encouraged by my friend at work. It has been a wonderful creative exercise on Friday's, drawing a quick picture to match the the topic of the week.
Should anyone want to keep up with the work you can go here to the place I post most of my Illustration Friday work, or Illustration Friday itself to view my work and my co-worker's work. She goes by "Tammy" on the site.
Should anyone want to keep up with the work you can go here to the place I post most of my Illustration Friday work, or Illustration Friday itself to view my work and my co-worker's work. She goes by "Tammy" on the site.
Monday, August 14, 2006
All the Small Things
My mom has always been full of great wisdom. She reads alot and retains alot. She has notebooks full of quotations that she has used with my sister and I for years. So much so that many are engrained in our minds. One day I may make a list of the ones that come immediately to mind, but that will be a post for another day.
Today I will only list one. "It is not the mountain ahead but the pebble in your shoe that keeps you down" - translation- It's not the big stuff, but the small stuff that brings you down.
I had week like that last week. A good bit of it could be attributed to female trouble but mainly it was a bunch of little things that just brought my spirits down considerably. I'm always amazed by how people can so easily be torn down brick by brick. But what is wonderful is that if we focus on the other little things we can just as easily be built back up. The problem is finding that kind of focus.
But that's not what this post is about either. That is just a way to explain why I didn't post last week. I was just too down in the dumps and had the cries to feel like doing it. But never fear, I refocused and am back to normal now.
So now I will focus on other little things.
Not the little things that necessarily make me happy, but the random little bits that I've thought about blogging about but that don't seem to warrant a blog post of their own.
Like this flower for instance.
It is a passion flower so I've been told. I want to grow them next year. For no other reason, than that they look like something directly from Dr. Seuss.
Or my kitchen - after reading Not Martha about her small kitchen and her small kitchen solutions, I showed DH and his reaction was: "well at least she has two exits" This is true. I showed him the page because we too have a very small kitchen. I related to the girl because we too have had be creative with solutions. It sincerely helped having the dishwasher installed rather than continuing the use the roll-and-hook-up one that came with the house. But that caused us to lose considerable cabinet space, so we added a baker's rack to create more counter/storage space. And then there are the utinsils. While the rack took care of many, we still had a lot left over. Being the ever clumsy person that I am I knew containers holding multiple items would not work for me as I would pull one and all would come with it. So we went with hooks. Hooks on a bathroom storage caddy that I found at a yardsale. No one knows it is suppose to be a bathroom caddy. Let's let that be our little secret.
See it doesn't look so bad
The reason for Jay's reaction to the other girl's blog is that we do only have one entry/exit to the kitchen, and it works okay as long as there is only one person. Get both of us unloading groceries, for instance, and obsticles appear from everywhere. Particulary the ever-curious dog, and the refrigerator door. As you can see here: our kitchen as taken from the dining room
and here:
One of us is constantly getting trapped by the other, or has trouble maneuvering around the other with hot things. I love our house, but if I could change just two things it would be make the kitchen and the master bath bigger (and give the master bath an outlet). If anyone knows of a good (FREE) makeover show that wants to redo either of those things in TN. Let me know. I'll apply in a heartbeat.
And finally does anyone need any tomatoes? My brown thumb has a hint of green afterall because we now have an over abundance of tomatoes for just two people, one of which doesn't particularly care for them except in salads. And unfortunately everyone else seems to be growing their own as well, so I'm having trouble giving them away. Next year I will only plant one plant. One plant is plenty. Maybe it can grow next to the passion flower. Wonder if that would cause any weird cross polinating stories.
Today I will only list one. "It is not the mountain ahead but the pebble in your shoe that keeps you down" - translation- It's not the big stuff, but the small stuff that brings you down.
I had week like that last week. A good bit of it could be attributed to female trouble but mainly it was a bunch of little things that just brought my spirits down considerably. I'm always amazed by how people can so easily be torn down brick by brick. But what is wonderful is that if we focus on the other little things we can just as easily be built back up. The problem is finding that kind of focus.
But that's not what this post is about either. That is just a way to explain why I didn't post last week. I was just too down in the dumps and had the cries to feel like doing it. But never fear, I refocused and am back to normal now.
So now I will focus on other little things.
Not the little things that necessarily make me happy, but the random little bits that I've thought about blogging about but that don't seem to warrant a blog post of their own.
Like this flower for instance.
It is a passion flower so I've been told. I want to grow them next year. For no other reason, than that they look like something directly from Dr. Seuss.
Or my kitchen - after reading Not Martha about her small kitchen and her small kitchen solutions, I showed DH and his reaction was: "well at least she has two exits" This is true. I showed him the page because we too have a very small kitchen. I related to the girl because we too have had be creative with solutions. It sincerely helped having the dishwasher installed rather than continuing the use the roll-and-hook-up one that came with the house. But that caused us to lose considerable cabinet space, so we added a baker's rack to create more counter/storage space. And then there are the utinsils. While the rack took care of many, we still had a lot left over. Being the ever clumsy person that I am I knew containers holding multiple items would not work for me as I would pull one and all would come with it. So we went with hooks. Hooks on a bathroom storage caddy that I found at a yardsale. No one knows it is suppose to be a bathroom caddy. Let's let that be our little secret.
See it doesn't look so bad
The reason for Jay's reaction to the other girl's blog is that we do only have one entry/exit to the kitchen, and it works okay as long as there is only one person. Get both of us unloading groceries, for instance, and obsticles appear from everywhere. Particulary the ever-curious dog, and the refrigerator door. As you can see here: our kitchen as taken from the dining room
and here:
One of us is constantly getting trapped by the other, or has trouble maneuvering around the other with hot things. I love our house, but if I could change just two things it would be make the kitchen and the master bath bigger (and give the master bath an outlet). If anyone knows of a good (FREE) makeover show that wants to redo either of those things in TN. Let me know. I'll apply in a heartbeat.
And finally does anyone need any tomatoes? My brown thumb has a hint of green afterall because we now have an over abundance of tomatoes for just two people, one of which doesn't particularly care for them except in salads. And unfortunately everyone else seems to be growing their own as well, so I'm having trouble giving them away. Next year I will only plant one plant. One plant is plenty. Maybe it can grow next to the passion flower. Wonder if that would cause any weird cross polinating stories.
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